The Call

It was one of those mornings – the type where you just like to lie in bed as long as possible until you absolutely have to get up.

I could see the sunlight cracking through the beveled glass in the basement window. Mom put the Marvin the Martian valance around it like I asked last week. My basement bedroom is just about complete.

I was thinking about having another half hour in bed with my Aladdin comforter. I love rubbing the lamp right in the middle of the sheet. I was just dozing when I heard the familiar ring of my Disney phone singing “Someday My Prince Will Come.”

I pick up the phone.

“What the HELL were you thinking with that press release saying Heimlich finally built the jail?” It was Todd. I hate it when he talks to me like that. I can’t wait until I can tell him what to do someday.

“Todd, relax,” I yawned.

“Don’t tell me to relax you little pretty boy. This is a HUGE problem!!”

“What’s the big deal? I got a press release out.”

“What’s the big DEAL? WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?! I’ll tell you what the big deal is, you stupid little officeholder wannabe. The big deal is that you’ve basically said that Phil Heimlich is the leader you’ve been trying to say he isn’t. That’s the big deal.” Todd’s shouting was really irritating me now.

“Listen, Todd, if you didn’t want to make Phil look like a successful leader, why did you vote to put it on the ballot and make it unanimous?” I was probably a little petulant in my tone, but who is Todd Portune to talk to me like that? My dad is Disney!

“Don’t you EVER question me. I have my reasons. I was backed into a corner, and partially because of comments you made. Did you or did you not say you would vote to put Heimlich’s plan on the ballot?”

“I said that after the vote. You can’t use that against me.” I had him there.

“You don’t GET it. It’s been your whole attitude all along after your stupid casino idea crashed and burned. I couldn’t be left hanging out there all alone,” I could tell Todd was getting angry now. “This is why you were rejected by voters last November, then rejected by the Democratic Party when you went for State Senator. You are clueless, and you have nothing to offer.”

“Listen, Todd. If you want to run my campaign, give Bridget a call. Take me out of the loop. I’m tired of running for office. You get me elected, I’ll be your second vote for anything you want. Just don’t ever ask me to do anything. You know how I don’t like to think and don’t like to work.”

“Fine. People like you make me sick, David. I’ll do this for you. I’ll run your campaign. Hell, I’ll even pay attention to Bridget, which is something you refuse to do. But when you lose this fall, I do not want to hear you whining. I don’t even want to see you running for office again.”

CLICK.

The phone was dead now, but I wasn’t finished.

“Listen, asshole, you can’t talk to me like that. Just who do you think you are? I can buy and sell you like junk bonds. Don’t you ever threaten me again.”

Then I hung up the phone satisfied that I had the last word.

I rolled over and watched as the blurry light became brighter through the window.