Just Another Saturday Night

The most difficult part of campaigning is without a doubt, finding spare time to enjoy old habits. The other night I decided to skip the Little Sisters of the Poor’s summer festival and take a little time for myself. I put on my most expensive jewelry and called the one person who knew how to have fun on a Saturday night, Commissioner by day/breakdancing enthusiast by night, my wingman odd Todd Portune. By 10:30, I was in Todd’s Cabriolet cruising the streets of downtown Cincinnati. As we sauntered through the doors of our favorite dance club, I caught a glimpse of a face that has haunted me over the past few months. It was my opponent, the very non-Ivy league degree having, Phil Heimlich. I gave Todd my daddy’s credit card for the bar tab and I turned to sashay over to my nemesis.

Our exchange was curt and snippy, here’s an excerpt:

“Is that a women’s shirt?” Phil asked me.
“Sorry Phil. This shirt’s from San Francisco, it cost as much as your law degree.” I said with a giggle.
“Spare cash must be one of the sweet attributes to living in your parent’s basement, rent-free.” Phil said.
“Let’s finish this right now, me and you, a dance-off, winner gets the commissionership!” I barked. But Phil knew he couldn’t touch my moves, no Republican can.

Odd Todd dropped me off at the gate of the Pepper family estate and after another exciting Saturday night had gone by the boards, I was ready for a hard week of campaigning